Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby hyksos on December 29th, 2017, 3:51 pm 

containspeanuts.jpg.jpg


Consider it a warning.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Asparagus on January 5th, 2018, 8:43 pm 

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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on January 10th, 2018, 5:40 am 

3 m years of evolution.jpg
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Braininvat on January 13th, 2018, 1:58 pm 

Porn Star Was Said to Be Paid to Stay Quiet About Trump


Quick question prompted by this headline:

Are there no porn character actors?

I have never seen a pornographic actor ever described as anything but a "star."

Surely there are (cough) small supporting roles?
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on January 30th, 2018, 2:40 am 

CLOTHES DRYING JOKE.jpg
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on February 1st, 2018, 8:35 pm 

Two crocodiles sat at the side of the River.The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it.'

'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'

'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.

'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'

'On the other side of the river near the Parliament car park in Canberra.

'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?' asked the big Croc.

'Well, I crawl up under one of their big Lexus, BMW or Mercedes cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'

'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not
getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing much left but an arsehole with a briefcase
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on February 25th, 2018, 4:31 am 

I was sitting at the computer the other day,
drafting my will, and I called out to my wife,

"WHEN I DIE, I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU, MY LOVE!

She shouted back,
"YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY BASTARD!"
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on February 25th, 2018, 8:03 pm 

This one's not PC, but what the hec, I can only be dis-membered.
..............................................................


"Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them.

He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo,..........just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid!

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

“Helllooooo? It's been a year!” I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back.

I bet he felt like an idiot."
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on February 25th, 2018, 10:05 pm 

I'm allowed to tell these geriatric jokes now because of my age.

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together.
One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.
She puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.'
She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood...'
She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on March 4th, 2018, 6:49 am 

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.'
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair..
Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex...'
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!

Two elderly gentlemen had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is..
His friend stared at him for at least three minutes -- he just stared and stared at him.
Finally he said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Braininvat on March 9th, 2018, 8:48 pm 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DRjJt7QPJHtM&ved=0ahUKEwiU3YuPvuDZAhVp9IMKHebSAlEQwqsBCFswEw&usg=AOvVaw2AVMyGdJM3K6rFAYR2wzyY

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this UFO reported over upstate New York just the Google PhotoSphere logo?

I feel the humor thread might be the most suitable place to post this.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Event Horizon on March 9th, 2018, 9:57 pm 

Don't eat electric eels..They taste shocking!

Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one, and the other two got away with minor injuries!

How many shrinks to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it's really got to wanna change!
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on March 11th, 2018, 10:45 pm 

Image
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on March 11th, 2018, 10:49 pm 

I have no idea what this is, but it looks similar. What ever?
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on March 12th, 2018, 7:01 am 

Watson It's the rear view of a plumber sitting on a toy cannon.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Braininvat on March 27th, 2018, 12:57 pm 

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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on March 28th, 2018, 4:06 pm 

Hi Everyone,

Came in today to place some more funny images but got this instead:
Could not upload attachment to ./files/10768_39bfd0bf2fa87abb870a1d50f4756faa.
Something change recently? Issues with the site? I'll try again Tomorrow.

Meanwhile.. since I'm here already..

For many years now we have been warned about an upcoming crisis, the singularity, as a threat from advancements in "Artificial Intelligence". It's a bit Ironic then.. that with Trump in Office.. our greatest future safety concerns stem from "Natural Stupidity".

Ok.. I'll check back later..

Best wishes..
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on March 28th, 2018, 4:26 pm 

Something change recently?


Haha, if he only knew?
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby zetreque on March 28th, 2018, 4:30 pm 

I think there is a separate thread for political jokes called "political cartoons that we should move the last 2 post over to, but while we are at it.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on April 1st, 2018, 5:31 am 

A hard decision to be made


The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,

"Hello."

"Mrs Sanders, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.

When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well...

We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."

"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.Sanders.

"Normally we can, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The MEDICARE Help desk recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.

If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby zetreque on April 7th, 2018, 3:21 am 

This might explain some of the strange posts on here.

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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Event Horizon on April 13th, 2018, 12:24 am 

If ever someone flippantly asks "How long is a piece of string?" You can reply, well, I'ts obviously half a length x 2. I just thought about it over some sour mash one evening!
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Braininvat on April 13th, 2018, 9:53 am 

Zetreque, once you start indulging in cat videos, there's no going back!

Event, that is exactly one half of a joke.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on April 16th, 2018, 4:22 pm 

I must admit that I've used "Exactly double half its length" for decades now, and it has always felt good to have an answer.

Apropos this site, I note that not only have many pictures disappeared, but I have been unable to upload a couple of lately.

Here's another verbal joke anyhow.

........................................................................................


A man in Newcastle walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce.

The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.

The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager,

"Some old bastard outside wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man had followed and was standing right behind him,

So the boy quickly added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later, the manager said to the boy...........

"I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?"

"New Zealand, sir," the boy replied.

"Why did you leave New Zealand ?" the manager asked.


The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and rugby players there."

"Is that right?" replied the manager, "My wife is from New Zealand!"

"Really?" replied the boy, "Who did she play for?"
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on April 19th, 2018, 2:14 pm 

Hello Folks, looks like they got the Image Files linked back up correctly.. Bravo!
So, once again, a bit of humor gleaned from Facebook. Hope you enjoy!

Hunted.jpg

Smile.jpg

Aliens.jpg

Homeless.jpg


Hope all is well out there for you all. For myself.. I'm just enjoying the Daily Trump Show.

Have a great day,
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on April 19th, 2018, 6:22 pm 

all I'm getting is titles?? No pictures unless I download them??
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on April 20th, 2018, 3:36 am 

Dave_Oblads pictures came through quite okay to me here is Australia -- no problems. And they were all amusing. Thanks David!

In fact it has encouraged me to have another go at uploading again after several failed attempts.

KID & GRANDMA.jpg


Hallelujah. It's working again. Maybe I should have posted it in the thread about the current generation.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby doogles on April 22nd, 2018, 5:04 am 

20 Y EXTRA JOKE.jpg
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Braininvat on April 23rd, 2018, 9:31 pm 

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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on May 5th, 2018, 3:45 pm 

Hi Everyone..

Been exploring YouTube for classic old movies and found a wealth of oldie-but-goodies. One of my old favorites was "Men into Space". When I got to episode 11.. "First Woman in Space".. I almost fell out of my chair with laughter. Below is the whole episode.. enjoy!

Note: it reflects the Macho Male attitude of the times (1955) which seems to draw the notion that the colonization of the Moon with families can find a suitable place for Space Faring Women.. that can cook, wash and clean of course. You know.. that fine Moon-Dust gets into every little crack.. and those stains from solar flares.. is nigh impossible to get off of those spacesuits.



Catch you all next Month (or sooner).

Best wishes,
Dave :^)
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