Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

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[TheVat]

Schrodinger's Cat's Litter Box: Never Needs Cleaning, As Long As You Don't Look At It

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[TheVat]

I'm gonna say one thing about this anything-goes thread. Gags poking fun at obese persons are low-hanging fruit, humour-wise. I'll laugh at almost any sort of joke, if it's done well, but...urgh.

Loved the "too many security cameras" bit, BTW.

OK, carry on. Not moderating or anything, just casting one vote for no more fat jokes.


(and I see now that "low-hanging fruit" could be interpreted as a fat joke, too, possibly...)

[Serpent]

On the whole, vote #2
...still & all, though ... I have to admit the dog is a cute touch

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Apologies for the last lapse of political correctness. No more 'fat' jokes.
……...……………………………………………………..

FRANK ALWAYS LOOKED ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. HE WOULD CONSTANTLY IRRITATE HIS
FRIENDS WITH HIS ETERNAL OPTIMISM.

NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE THE CIRCUMSTANCE, HE WOULD ALWAYS REPLY: "IT
COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE."

TO CURE HIM OF HIS ANNOYING HABIT, HIS friends decided to invent a
situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no
hope in it.

On the golf course one day, one of them said,

"FRANK, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT TOM?

HE CAME HOME LAST NIGHT, FOUND HIS WIFE IN BED WITH ANOTHER MAN, SHOT
THEM BOTH AND THEN TURNED THE GUN ON HIMSELF!"

"That`s awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse."

"How in the hell," asked his angry friend, "Could it have been worse?"
…….

"WELL," REPLIED FRANK, "IF IT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE, I`D BE DEAD
NOW!"

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[charon]

A group of friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Hull because the bar staff had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Hull because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Hull because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good value for money.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Hull because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Hull because they had never been there before.

[TheVat]

Schrodinger's Cat's Litter Box: Never Needs Cleaning, As Long As You Don't Look At It

Saw a fellow in a teeshirt recently with a Wanted poster (old-time Western format) silkscreened on the front, that read

WANTED: Dead and Alive -- Schrodinger's Cat [with a cute cat picture, of course]

For the teeshirt industry, Schrodinger seems to be a gift that keeps on giving. I've seen at least a dozen variations on the theme by now.

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[TheVat]

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/16/us/newpo ... index.html

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New Public Benches

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[toucana]

Intrepid roving reporter Jonathan Pie (comedian Tom Walker) is in lockdown, and reporting from home over a video-link for the next fortnight.

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