Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

[doogles]

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed..

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

[doogles]

I got so drunk last night that when I crossed the dance floor to get another drink I won the dance contest.

[Dave_Oblad]

Hi Guys, hope all is well in your respective worlds.

Well, here is this months gathering of posted humor on Facebook.. a bit more cerebral than my usual fare..lol.

Catch everyone next month..

Best wishes..
Dave :^)

[Watson]

Hi Dave,
Your comics come to me as .jpg to be down loaded. Also the others that I did see before Day of the Idiot now are .jpg as well. So much for better. More like plant ads, and see if they grow money. I hope his crop fails.

[Dave_Oblad]

Hi Watson..

Really? Everything looks perfectly normal to me. I wonder how many others are having a problem?

Anyway, glad to see you are still kicking and hope all is well in your world.

Best Regards,
Dave :^)

[Paradox]

Is it about time to update your picture Dave, Aren't you bald on top now?

[hyksos]

[BadgerJelly]

A bit of slam poetry: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cxGWGohIXiw

[toucana]

[dandelion]

^ lol :)

[Event Horizon]

What is the difference between a police cruiser and a hedgehog?

With a hedgehog, all the pricks are on the outside!


A cop stopped me for drink driving. He said "Have you been drinking sir?" I said I drunk a whole bottle of bourbon. He said you have to take a breathalyzer test. I said, You guys never believe me..!

[Braininvat]

Cop pulls my car over, says: Sir, you are legally drunk.

I reply: if I'm legally drunk then what's the problem?