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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 23rd, 2017, 12:44 pm
by Dave_Oblad
Hi Folks,

Well.. it's that time again to see what strange humor Facebook had to offer this month:

Toilet-Paper.jpg

TheScare.jpg

TruckDriver.jpg

OhMy.jpg
I really liked this one.. love to see this in real life..

Have a great month folks.. see you all in 2 months.. I'll be moving to Arizona next month and will be offline for awhile locating a new home.

Best wishes everyone,
Dave :^)

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 23rd, 2017, 1:17 pm
by Braininvat
Hi, Dave. Haven't seen you around lately, but that may be because I've been avoiding the Personal Theories physics stuff. I really LOL'd at that last one, too. I wondered how your move/retirement was going. Sounds like progress being made, and I wish you well. A friend in Phoenix says to avoid Phoenix and look for a place up in the hills a ways. Not sure what you are looking for, but maybe you can post in Lounge sometime about the hunt?

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2017, 12:21 pm
by Braininvat
http://www.popsci.com/uranus-neptune-diamond-rain

Amusing title, if you click on the linked article.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 2nd, 2017, 6:48 pm
by doogles
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....
'Go get your Mother'

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 9th, 2017, 11:05 am
by Infinite_Observer
Have you ever heard of Pavlov?

Me: Rings a bell...

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 9th, 2017, 5:03 pm
by Braininvat
Traffic cop: Do you know how fast you were going?

Heisenberg: No, but I know where I am!

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 11th, 2017, 8:41 pm
by Infinite_Observer
Disclaimer: The comments and opinions expressed on this post do not necessarily reflect those of the poster.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 18th, 2017, 5:10 am
by doogles
A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the colour of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?

It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humour!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologise, and the blonde yells: "You stay out of this! ......I'm talking to that little shit on your lap."

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 18th, 2017, 5:15 am
by doogles
I went to Dan Murphy’s liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle,
bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle,
the bottle would break, so I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle
seven times on the way home.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: October 18th, 2017, 12:50 pm
by Braininvat
http://www.gocomics.com/robrogers/2017/10/17

The Tillerson-to-English dictionary.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: October 25th, 2017, 5:31 am
by doogles
HUSBAND
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - loves to browse and leaves me with endless time to fulfill.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Cunningham,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Cunningham, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby.
6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the Auto Department, he practiced his 'Madonna Look' using different sized funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed; 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was?
and last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: October 29th, 2017, 12:50 am
by Dave_Oblad
Hi everyone,

Finally getting settled in my new place here in Arizona (Tucson) and just in time for some seasonal humor.

I found some much funnier stuff.. but this season is for kids.. so felt inclined to tone it down a bit.. lol.

halloween4.jpg

halloween3.jpg

halloween2.jpg

halloween1.jpg

Have a great Halloween and watch for kids..

Best wishes,
Dave :^)