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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 18th, 2018, 9:50 pm
by davidm
As don't they all. ;)

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 22nd, 2018, 5:32 am
by doogles
AN ITALIAN ALTAR BOY'S CONFESSION

ITALIAN ALTAR BOY CONFESSION




"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Dominic Savino?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Dominic, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads."

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 25th, 2018, 1:33 am
by doogles
Saw this in a local timber supplier's office:

"When you are DEAD,
You don't know you are DEAD.
All of the pain is felt by others.

The same thing happens when you are stupid."

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 25th, 2018, 4:22 pm
by Event Horizon
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate!

Two birds stood by the highway.
One crossed, but the other was chicken!

The only thing worse than a giraffe with a sore throat is a millipede with sore feet!

Leprichaun: Hey, I can make you rich.
Tourist: How?
L: Just come in the bushes here..
T: Well, OK.
Some time later..
T: So am I rich?
L: How old are you?
T: 43
L: And you still believe in Leprechauns..

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 29th, 2018, 6:56 am
by toucana
Recalcitrant speaker-phones, complicated flags to colour in - it's been a tough week for #45.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRV7NbZ8SXA

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2018, 4:13 am
by Reg_Prescott
How do you think the unthinkable?

You ram it into an itheberg.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2018, 11:10 am
by BadgerJelly
Reg_Prescott » August 30th, 2018, 4:13 pm wrote:How do you think the unthinkable?

You ram it into an itheberg.


This joke doesn’t work unless you make a comment about lisps.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2018, 11:39 am
by Braininvat
It works fine. I got it right away.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2018, 11:40 am
by Reg_Prescott
Braininvat » August 31st, 2018, 12:39 am wrote:It works fine. I got it right away.



Workth.

Duh

:)

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2018, 11:44 am
by BadgerJelly
Maybe I’m just too dumb in this area.

My fav joke is ...

What is E.T. short for?
-

-

-


- Because he’s got little legs.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2018, 12:41 pm
by Braininvat
I like that one. Oldie, but goody.

This is the joke my wife most requests....I refrain from telling:

Two guys walk into a bar.

A third guy says, "Wow, that must have hurt!"

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2018, 12:47 pm
by Reg_Prescott
A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Piss off. We don't serve food here."

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 30th, 2018, 1:31 pm
by BadgerJelly
Where do you weigh whales?

- At the whaleweigh station.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 31st, 2018, 7:05 am
by toucana


The 'unthinkable' revisited

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: August 31st, 2018, 3:33 pm
by Event Horizon
Have you met the Scottish gay couple yet? Ben Doon and Phil Macavity?

What is the collective name for a group of Irish hogging the bar?
A thicket. (I'm 1/2 Irish, so PC nonsense does not apply here)

An Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman have been in a Persian jail for 40 years. On the anniversary the guard took pity and gave them a lamp. They were cleaning it when a Genie suddenly appeared.
"Ah." Says the Genie you can have one wish each seeing as there's three of you.
The Scotsman spoke first. I wanna be at home with a pretty nymphomaniac. He promptly vanishes.
The Englishman says, "I'd like a big mansion and more money than I can ever spend. He too vanishes.
The Irishman said, "Come back later,I can't decide"
A few days later the Genie came back.
The Irishman said, "Thank God you came back. I'm so lonely. I wish my mates were here"!

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 13th, 2018, 7:12 am
by toucana
NWS.jpg

I don't think this was Photoshopped either.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 13th, 2018, 9:47 am
by Braininvat
Florence may be needing a more masculine name...

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 17th, 2018, 3:03 pm
by Braininvat
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/opi ... d51eff0220

Petri dishes out some mordant humor.

Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

PostPosted: September 19th, 2018, 1:32 pm
by toucana
cathay-pacific.jpg
You had one job !