Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby edy420 on August 31st, 2012, 5:02 am 

R.I.P Neil Armstrong

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only said his famous "One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks - usual communication traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut; however, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian nor American space programs. Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant.
On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. He finally responded.
It seems that Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question: "When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with my brother in the backyard. He had hit a fly ball which landed in front of my neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on August 31st, 2012, 10:40 pm 

Another from yours truly..

Better than a "Bowl" cut..lol.

Barber.jpg
Click to enlarge...

Have a good weekend all,
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on September 7th, 2012, 7:11 pm 

Anyone care to provide a caption to this?
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby mtbturtle on September 8th, 2012, 5:07 pm 

Existential Star Wars

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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on September 9th, 2012, 11:32 pm 

Per weakmagneto's recent image,

"In the unlikely event of a water landing? Can these big birds actually land on water like me.. or do they mean Crash into the Ocean?"

or

"No Mr. Shatner.. It's just a Duck!"

Best wishes,
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on September 10th, 2012, 6:21 am 

haha Thanks, Dave! I thought of two captions for the duck pic: "AFLAC!!" or "You're despicable." (in a Dafffy Duck voice and lisp)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on September 10th, 2012, 11:49 am 

weakmagneto wrote:Anyone care to provide a caption to this?


"Let me in!!! Does it look like I can Fly?
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on September 13th, 2012, 12:28 pm 

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on September 13th, 2012, 6:05 pm 

Hi all,

Good one Weakmagneto.

About 15 years ago the following true story took place in my household:

I got a notice stuck to my door that I had to take care of a trampoline issue in my back yard. I was in violation of my insurance policy in that my backyard was easily accessible by minors and the trampoline represented a potential danger to those that may invade my backyard and hurt themselves on it.

I must remove it at once or secure it such a manner that children can't access it. Ok.. I understand that. But they also requested I send them photographic Proof of Compliance. I thought that was stupid. I could just move it out of sight, take a picture showing compliance, and put it back. So I called them to complain about the stupidity of requiring photographic proof of compliance. But they insisted!

So.. I removed the trampoline, took a picture of my backyard, and photo-shopped a few changes to indicate I had made the trampoline inaccessible. I emailed them this following photo as "Proof of Compliance".

Backyard_SML.jpg
My Backyard Photo

Click here: (For full-sized view of photo I sent or to read my warning sign..lol)
http://www.renderosity.com/mod/rrfilelo ... 3&key=6375

They never responded but I presume they must have sent another Inspector to confirm my compliance, as I never heard from them again and my policy remained in effect.

About the Photo: I was going to include a couple of Machine Gun Turrets, but then I'm not much one for overkill ;-)

Best wishes,
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby edy420 on September 18th, 2012, 8:40 pm 

Image
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on September 19th, 2012, 10:23 pm 

Good one Edy..

Another true story:

I and my Wife were Nudists. A few months after joining a Family Nudist Club we invited my wife's best friend and her husband to join us for a day at the camp. They accepted the invite and brought their little 8 year old girl along.

Shortly after settling down on a blanket, inside the camp, the little girl noticed something and asked her mother why boys have "Those" and girls have nothing. Her mother responded: "That's how God made us so we can have children."

The young girl seemed ok with the answer and took off to play with the other kids on the playground. I leaned over to the mother and suggested what I thought was a better answer: "Don't worry.. when you grow up and with what you got, you can have as many of "Those" as you want!"

Best wishes all,
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on September 20th, 2012, 6:56 pm 

I shall print out a copy for my future grandchildren! haha
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on September 24th, 2012, 5:58 pm 

I thought this was cute n funny:
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on October 3rd, 2012, 8:52 pm 

Hi all,

One picture is worth a 1000 words I hear.

Grandma always said a "Good" man was "Hard" to find... or something like that.

Hunk.jpg
Click image to enlarge..lol

Best wishes,
Dave :^)

Ps. Wasn't sure what this sites TOS policy is, so played it safe with the Censor Block :P
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on October 3rd, 2012, 10:32 pm 

Hi Dave,
You seem to have an artistic talent. From what I have seen, or been shown, it is of the comic/bathroom humor. I think, and hope you have other topics of your works and illustrations. If it is just "Jokes for the John" types, your focus is selling you short. I don't mean this as a criticism of the work, but only a comment on the subject of your time spent.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on October 3rd, 2012, 11:35 pm 

Hi Watson,

I didn't know you liked bathroom humor.. here's one dedicated just for you.

Watson1.jpg
Living with a Man... ;P

Honestly, no insult intended Watson. I have a wide range of humor, but I don't want to hog this whole thread..lol. As for time.. You would be surprised how fast I am ;P

Best wishes to you and all,
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on October 6th, 2012, 12:39 am 

Thanks Dave,
I feel like a Simms character.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on October 6th, 2012, 7:20 am 

Dave, you should have used a polar bear instead of a guy in the toilet, that would have been hilarious! haha
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on October 6th, 2012, 11:20 am 

Not that funny and don't give him any ideas.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on October 17th, 2012, 11:04 pm 

A precious little girl, with two missing teeth, walks into Pet Smart and asks the owner, "Excuthe me mithter, do you have any widdle wabbits?"
As his heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, crosses her arms,
Leans forward and says;
"It dothn't weally matter, I don't think my python givth a thit.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine!

Postby mugwande on October 18th, 2012, 2:00 am 






This real made to laugh, I loved it.
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby mugwande on October 18th, 2012, 2:28 am 

An old woman with no teeth left in her mouth sat next to a bus driver, the driver was busy driving seems to be enjoying what he was doing and then even an old woman was busy too as if she was eating something but the driver did not notice that.
Then she reached out to the driver and gave him a hand ful of gnuts, the driver appreciated and ate the gnuts from there they started talking to gether but still the driver did not notice what real was going on, after a couple of hours she gave him another hand full of gnuts, he appreciated again but this time he asked
"where do you get all these gnut grandma?"
she replied
"I am eating chocolate but i don't have teeth to chew those gnuts"
The driver got anoyed at the grandma and they never talk again.
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Radio Caller Wants Deer Crossing Signs Moved So Deer Won't C

Postby weakmagneto on October 20th, 2012, 7:15 pm 

Dunno if it is a hoax or not perpetrated by radio caller "Donna", nonetheless it sure gave me a chuckle.

Audio of the radio show is available in the link below:

If we moved deer crossing signs off of highways, deer would finally stop running into oncoming traffic.

That's the complaint one caller in North Dakota aired to the Y94 Playhouse radio station earlier this month.

The woman -- only known as Donna -- was either hoaxing the hosts or really thought that her three deer-related car crashes over the past few years were the result of government posted deer crossing signs posted along high-traffic roads.

"My frustration is that Minnesota and North Dakota departments of transportation would allow these deer crossings in such high traffic areas," she says. "Why are we encouraging deer to cross at the interstate?"

The host replies: "Are you kidding?"

Donna's solution? Putting the warnings in low-traffic areas, like school crossings.

"You seem to be under the misunderstanding that the deer are somehow attracted to the deer crossing sign," the host says.

But Donna appears unfazed by the giggles and snarky responses on air. Listen to the audio in the YouTube clip above and hear the magic for yourself.

UPDATE: The radio station called Donna back days later due to the interest in the original video. She's all red in the face, but she thanked the hosts for not laughing at her -- too much.

"I feel so stupid," she said. "I had no clue that these signs are for us."


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/1 ... ostpopular
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby FSO on October 29th, 2012, 8:33 pm 

Dr Watson was very concerned about his companion, his mentor; it appeared Holmes was in the midst of a decorating frenzy at just a little past the violet hour. His brow furrowed in concentration, the cream of the detective crop was stood outside his residence splashing a great deal of yellow paint over his door. Once his foul deed was done he stood back, sighed, and proceeded to shake his head. Dr Watson, with the great sensitivity and controlled pace that had been afforded to him by his extensive training and, perhaps even to a greater degree, his extensive association with the marvel of a man he held so keenly within his thoughts, asked gently:
"Holmes...what is it?" The great detective looked perplexed a while, almost bemused, as befit often their imbalanced, though not unpleasant, daily conversations, at his compatriot's exceptional lack of apparent cognition, before responding:
"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson!". Watson removed his hat, scratched his head, then replaced his hat.
"Holmes...stop this silliness you're...you're not well," he stuttered, "please, just...please Holmes, let me take you inside". Holmes strongly resisted the firm and guiding arm.
"No! No Watson, my dear, dear Watson," he cried, "we can't go through there!" The doctor, having been caused quite enough distress by the events thus-far already too diluted by poor economy of words for any comedic or narrative focus to become apparent, pulled fervently at his employers sleeve; having dragged his cumbersome load across the threshold, Watson noted with grim satisfaction that his usually so brilliant, if a tad misanthropic, inspiration into the shadowy, exciting world of sleuthing discourse, not to mention top rate dining and potential career opportunities, had given up the ghost; resistance of all manner abandoned. There they lay on the floor, gently rocking from side to side. For a while he simply listened to the sound of the clock so unusually high above him before asking:
"Holmes?" Though not sure how, he sensed an unusual degree of hostility emanating from his employer. "Holmes?"
"Shut up Watson." Holmes replied sourly.
"Holmes! I'm sorry, I...I just thought..."
"Lemons can't talk, so just shut up, alright?" The words tasted bitter in his...well, the words tasted bitter for Holmes to say, but he thought he got his point across quite well.
"H-Holmes?" No answer. "Holmes?"
"What? What could you possibly have to say that might redeem yourself?"
"Oh...I...I just wanted to say...I'm sorry, it's just...when I saw you painting like that I...I..."
"What son, what?" Holmes responded sharply.
"I just thought it was sublime." The clock ticked away, the pips on its face squinting down in a scrutinising yet mocking tone.
"Shut up Watson."

Um...I hope you liked it...sorry, I rambled, I mean...I hope you liked it! Take care!
Xxx
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on October 30th, 2012, 10:46 pm 

I couldn't stop laughing when I seen this:
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on October 30th, 2012, 11:14 pm 

Very funny weakmagneto.. love it.

Push.. Push.. Push.. PLOP

Ok, I guess we think alike.. as here is my offering for Halloween along the same vein:

(click image to enlarge)
FranknKid.jpg
Frank-n-Kid arrives...

Hope you all have a safe and insane Halloween..

Best wishes,
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Watson on October 31st, 2012, 10:47 am 

weakmagneto wrote:I couldn't stop laughing when I seen this:

That looks so real. I can just feel the pain and emotion. Now I understand the expression "Proud as a Pumpkin"

It's a Pumpkid?
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby weakmagneto on November 3rd, 2012, 10:44 am 

Just an ad I placed and a funny pic for your amusement...
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby Dave_Oblad on November 8th, 2012, 8:59 pm 

Hi all,

I've been a big fan of Dilbert, a creation of Scott Adams, for many years. On his blog he posted today's comic panel that I thought was rather exceptional, especially for a Science related site like here. Enjoy.

You can vist his site at:
http://dilbert.com/

(C) 2012 Scott Adams Inc.
Dilbert19.jpg
Dilbert at his best. (click to enlarge)

Best wishes,
Dave :^)
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Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)

Postby NeoTheseus on November 8th, 2012, 10:25 pm 

Superman was flying on patrol one day & happened to see Wonder Woman laying out on her balcony completely Naked. Superman always had a thing for Wonder Woman & now saw this as his chance to finally make his move. So, he flew down & wham, bam, Quickie! ...and flew away!

Wonder Woman said, "What the heck just happened?"

The Invisible Man said, "Gee, I don't know but damn my butt hurts!"
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