What animal would you be?

[Percarus]

Sure, one can ask what if animals could be like us, but my question now is if you had to be an animal what would you be? I would want to be a cute monkey with a nice strong tail. That way I could beg tourists for smokes, invade strippers locker rooms and they would find me cute, and I could dance whilst someone is playing the accordion for money and always get what I want due to cuteness. A gay friend of mine today said he wanted to be a fish, another said he would want to be a fruit bat because they have big schlongs for their size and they are vegan like him. I thought about a dolphin because of intelligence but my idea of swimming all day long did not appeal to me. What's your choice Braininvat?

[Braininvat]

Am on a tablet and can't type well, which puts me more in the experience of being the dog that I feel myself to be, an animal with intelligence but not fingers. When I'm not pawing at this touchscreen, will try to further articulate the inner dog, perhaps with snatches of doggerel and a few illustrative daugerrotypes.

[BadgerJelly]

Octopus for sure! Weird anatomy, can shape shift and change colour!

[BubbleGum]

Maybe a sloth or a koala bear (definitely an animal that sleeps a lot and hates being extremely active) because I love sleeping and staying in bed the whole day, every time I get the chance to do it :P Especially when its rainy or cold outside, I prefer staying on the couch or in my bed and watching some series…

[Braininvat]

As a dog, I should be barking at you, wagging my tail, trying to motivate you into a game of frisbee or just a walk.
(it's an extortion racket, actually....just toss me a ball of hamburger and I'll go away....)

Seriously, welcome, and hope to see you in some science threads during one of your brief spells of wakefulness. Perhaps we can lay down a trail of eucalyptus leaves....

[Watson]

Maybe a sloth or a koala bear (definitely an animal that sleeps a lot and hates being extremely active) because I love sleeping and staying in bed the whole day, every time I get the chance to do it :P Especially when its rainy or cold outside, I prefer staying on the couch or in my bed and watching some series…

Better shake that attitude, before you grow into it.

[Eclogite]

Since I don't want to move to far from my comfort zone it would have to be a chimpanzee. My only objection then lies in calling a chimpanzee an animal, when it is simply a fellow ape.

[Serpent]

A serpent, obviously. Not just any old snake, though - that famous one.

[NoShips]

a mole

Now leave me alone

[NoShips]

Try this then:

I've been watching the Godfather (the original) tonight, for the 100th time. Which family member is most like you?

1. Don Corleone - replete with principles, just as long as yours don't get in the way with mine (nothing personal; we're all friends here). Some say the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama, I mean Achilles. I mean a silverback badger.

2. Sonny - um, bad tempered. Kill 'em all. But kinda ok when calm; he'll grab your cheeks and tell you he loves you. Few redeeming qualities unless you want the neighbors whacked. And I do. Well, who doesn't?

3. Fredo - nice fellah. Poor future in ruthlessness though. Chokes under pressure. Tries hard never to hurt anyone (obviously a Pisces)

4. Er, the daughter (dunno her name). On the grounds that she was never meant to be important, except when Sonny is beating up her husband, on the grounds that he hit her first, I mean the husband. I mean, you had to be there.

5. Michael - cold blooded, calculating. doing what is right for the greater good, even if sacrifices must be made.

I'll be the daughter. How about you?

[NoShips]

Dang, almost forgot Tom (Robert Duvall) who steals the show everywhere he goes.

[Braininvat]

I'm the baby, Michael Francis Rizzi, who is Michael's nephew. Played by Sofia Coppola, who is now a fine film director in her own right. Maybe papa helped her career along, a little bit. Anyway, it's an easy role, and allows me to take naps and poop whenever I like.

[NoShips]

But but... BIV... you're nice

These things can't be concealed. No matter how many policemen you whack.

[Braininvat]

I thought the nephew never went into the family business. I'm talking about the baby, right? All he's doing is getting baptized while Uncle Mike is having everybody whacked.

I almost said Fredo, because I want to go to Lake Tahoe.

[NoShips]

Answer quickly (no googling, you cad): Which is further west, Reno or Los Angeles?

Pssst, don't tell anyone but you can make money out of this in bars.

[NoShips]

Of course, a little finesse is required. You won't get away with it just like that.

First, give 'em a couple of freebies (10 bucks a shot, say). "What, you mean, London is west of Paris?!! Dang! Here's your ten bucks, harumph."

Then bet the Corleone family fortune.

[Forest_Dump]

Now this developed into an interesting thread. "The Godfather" definitely worthy of being both a manual for management in business and perhaps in life. And a movie I too have to watch again and again.

The daughter, by the way, was Connie.

The best character? IMHO Clemenza! Calm cool and collected even under pressure - teaching Michael how to make pasta for the boys while they were on the matresses and then, in the blink of an eye, how to whack a couple of enemies when needed. Didn't need to be the top dog but absolutely loyal and can be counted on to pay his debts - in 2 he paid the Don for holding some guns by getting him a nice rug for his apartment. And of course, has his priorities straight: "Leave the gun, take the cannoli."

[NoShips]

Connie? We're not supposed to remember that. :-)

So, um, you see yourself as Forest Clemenza?

[NoShips]

Don't make me google "cannoli"

lemme guess: Italian food?

[NoShips]

Connie's role might be compared with the Indonesian tour guide who takes you to see coconut crabs in some remote location in central Sulawesi. You find one. Then you have a thought: "'Scuse me, would you mind holding out your hand next to that crab so that I can get some perspective in my photo?"

[Forest_Dump]

Cannoli is a sweet pastry filed with a sweet cream cheese - a dessert.

The quote came in 1 after the old man had been shot and Sonny figured out it was the driver (Carlo?) who put the finger on him and so had Clemenza get rim of him. You might remember that they stopped the car out in the marshes, Clemenza got out to take a leak and the guy in the back seat put a couple caps into the back of Carlo's (?) head. Before they got into another waiting car, Clemenza tells the other guy to leave the gun but take the that Clemenza's wife wanted. I guess you are going to want to watch it again. Of course, I also watch it for all the trivia like all the tie ins with the Sopranos. Recognise Johnny Ola from 2?

[NoShips]

Yeah, remember all that ("Stop the cahwr. I gotta take a leak"). For me the scariest scene is Michael at the end with Carlo : "Your punishment is you're out the family business. Just don't insult my intelligence. Here's your ticket to Vegas."

I paraphrase.

"yes, it was [insert Italian name]"

Gurgle gurgle

[NoShips]

Or in layman's terms... "No no no, I'm not saying you're useless. How else would we know how big that crab is?"

[Braininvat]

Don't make me google "cannoli"

lemme guess: Italian food?

Are you kidding me, Nosh? You say you've seen the movie 100 times and you don't know what cannolis are?

[Braininvat]

Answer quickly (no googling, you cad): Which is further west, Reno or Los Angeles?

Pssst, don't tell anyone but you can make money out of this in bars.

Fairly sure it's Reno, so long as you keep in the LA city limits. You're right, it's a good bar bet to do with the cartographically challenged.

[NoShips]

Don't make me google "cannoli"

lemme guess: Italian food?

Are you kidding me, Nosh? You say you've seen the movie 100 times and you don't know what cannolis are?

Well, I was focusing on the sex and violence like any normal analyst. Both of which, mainly, we have Sonny to thank for.

[NoShips]

The OP is banned anyway, so don't suppose he'll object too much if we digress...

We're now collecting votes for the crappiest, most mind-numbingly, suicide-inducingly, bring-back-Robert-Mitchum-all-is-forgivenly, dull movie of all time.

I vote for "Capote".

[NoShips]

Hey, Forest, I'm on Godfather II tonight. Your man Clemenza makes his first appearance just after (yet-to-be) Don de Niro gets the boot from the grocery store!!

But there's a big difference: De Niro obviously put in a lot of work to appear like an earlier incarnation of Marlon Brando. Your Clemenza obviously didn't. Boo hiss. (And a rug thief to boot)

I'll be rooting for the good guys. That Nevada senator seems nice.

[Forest_Dump]

But there's a big difference: De Niro obviously put in a lot of work to appear like an earlier incarnation of Marlon Brando. Your Clemenza obviously didn't. Boo hiss. (And a rug thief to boot)

Hey I actually liked Bruno in that role. Big change from all the cuddley kid roles he was better known for. Now I need to get back to thinking through what Heidigger and Hussurl would have thought of Dawkins vs. Berlinski and whether I should try to recreate their perspectives in the chemical revolution that either made them Nazis or dream about rabbit holes. So. today do I take the red pill or blue pill. Kinda want to do some normal science. But sometimes its nice to climb out of the rut and take stock of the fact that the perception of "forward" really is just a product of my culturally biased ideology and I have no metric on which to base progress. Jeez. Now I know why you privaleged white Europeans drink so much. These dead white guys sometimes make my head spin. Hmmm. Maybe watching the Walking Dead will clarify things.

[NoShips]

Dang, sometimes you crawl perilously close to the esoterica of that badger. Keep away from Husserl. he's bad for you.

And don't get too close to the windows. There's talk among the Ravioli brothers.