Scientific Jokes!

[smfood]

LOL Give me more!

[zetreque]

Can someone explain. I know an ornithologist is a bird scientist. Are those bird collars/tags? Is this one of those jokes where there isn't really anything to get?

[Darby]

They appear to evoke brass crimp-on tags typically placed on the ankles of migrating birds.

Funny, but it overlooks the fact that the tags are typically on no value until they're recovered from the corpses of those wearing them ... kinda like the dog tags worn by soldiers.

[Watson]

They get banded instead of rings. Seems like more of an ornithologist club inside joke.

[Watson]

HaHa!!! Wedding bands.

[zetreque]

bird bands wedding bands, got it. lol
thanks Watson, I missed that one. :)

[Watson]

I didn't see it at first but as I walked into the kitchen it hit me.

Stop thinking about something and let your subconscious have a go at it.

[Dudley]

I read that the Dawn spacecraft will be left in a parking orbit around Ceres indefinitely. Fortunately there are no parking regulation in space. If there were, they'd have to go on forever, feeding coins to DeMeter.

[Dudley]

Joe, a time traveler from 1955, doesn't think we're doing so well in the 21st century. He says: 'Half the people I see are holding the side of their heads, and talking to themselves!'

[Watson]

I read that the Dawn spacecraft will be left in a parking orbit around Ceres indefinitely. Fortunately there are no parking regulation in space. If there were, they'd have to go on forever, feeding coins to DeMeter.

The coins tend to float away if you don't line up the coins properly. Feed de meter right, or not at all.

[Dudley]

The chemist must have been preoccupied with his work. He wanted to name his daughters Chlorine, Fluorine, and Ester.

[TheVat]

The guy was clearly a boron. His wife said, "Your head is all the way up uranium!" Then she called the police and, when they arrived, pointed out her husband and said, "Please cesium and take him away!"

[Dudley]

Asked a geologist I know how he liked his new job at a quarry. He said its the pits.

[DragonFly]

Asked a geologist I know how he liked his new job at a quarry. He said its the pits.

His friend, an archeologist, replied, "My career is in ruins!"

[AZPaul3]

"One benzene ring to rule them all,
One benzene ring to find them.
Six sigma bonds to bring them all,
And in the solvent, bind them."

Science: can tell you how to clone a Tyrannosaurus rex.
Humanities: can tell you why this might be a bad idea.

Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you to correct for subjective error.
-- Linus Pauling --

How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.

"Don't drink that!" -- Old Chemist Proverb

Tectonic relationship:
H: There's too much friction between us!
S: It's not my fault!

For Valentine's Day: Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.

[Dudley]

Someone asked an astronomer what he thought of astrology. Taurus! he roared.

[TheVat]

Virgo-ing to need that pun explained.

[bangstrom]

Some ordinary compounds are cocaine, diamonds, and opiates. Here are some extraordinary compounds.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2 ... 103159.htm

[TheVat]

"....extraordinary compounds may be hidden inside Uranus..." Snicker!

[zetreque]

[CoolAlx]

Funny topic)
I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down :))

[socrat44]

Never trust atoms, they make up everything!

Quarks??

Never trust big-bang, it can blow up your mind

[socrat44]

Q. Why many women like to study chemistry?
A. They like to mix different gossips and subjects

[socrat44]

Physicists try to explain philosophy of quantum physics.
" I think I can safely say that nobody understands quantum mechanics."
(R. Feynman)
Was Feynman (as always) joking?

[TheVat]

No.

(well, maybe a little bit)

[socrat44]

No.

Mr. Feynman liked to joke
“Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results,
but that's not why we do it.”

But if philosophy of quantum physics cannot be understood practically / logically,
what kind of ''sex-relation'' physicists have with philosophy?
====

[socrat44]

Professional talk
Physicist and chemist saw very beautiful woman
Oh - said one to another - how lucky she is,
all her atoms, by chance, were combined together in so wonderful way

[socrat44]

Q. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A. Love

[socrat44]

No.

Mr. Feynman liked to joke
“Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results,
but that's not why we do it.”

But if philosophy of quantum physics cannot be understood practically / logically,
what kind of ''sex-relation'' physicists have with philosophy?
====

Feynman said: “Physics is like sex: . . . ''
Q. if physics is like ''sex'' then what is ''sex-relation'' between physics and philosophy?
A. No sex-relation. They are divorced.
Divorced on Logical ground - they cannot understand each other
and we are their ''educated'' children.
===

[socrat44]

Funny logic.
Question: a crocodile is greener or is it wider?
The proof: a crocodile is greener than it is wide because
it is green far and wide and wide only vertically.
#
Math problem 2+2=22 funny gone viral 2017
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghCpDBZDrTA
===