Subatomic Physics Jokes.

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Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Cosmic Skeptic on March 17th, 2016, 2:36 am 

AKA 'DAFT VADER'
Particle Physics has lots of scope for making 'corny' jokes, here are a few:
What did one Quark sing to another? "Let's torsionally oscillate again like we did last summer'
or WDOQSTA? "Wow! that color looks great on you!"
or WDOQSTA? " Just my luck to get stuck in a Proton, that's a minimum 260,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 year tour of duty!"
or WDOQSTA? "Those humans they just look straight through you!"
What can you come up with?
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Cosmic Skeptic on March 17th, 2016, 2:40 am 

Maybe I should just have titled this PHARCICAL FYSICS!
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby DragonFly on March 18th, 2016, 12:59 am 

THE NEAR DECLINE OF PHYSICS
DUE TO ITS UNDRESSED TERMS

The quarks, those constituents of the orgy
Playfully bound within the nucleons’ chamber
Are named up, down, strange, charm, bottom and top,
The last two once being called beauty, and truth;

However, when just one of a type was contained
It became referred to, say, as a naked beauty,
And thus nude tops & bottoms their charms revealed—
To ever be in closeness binding, and bonding,

So they even tried just u, d, s, c, b, and t
To prevent some ultimate collapse of physics,
But the truth of the flavors beneath the veils
Remained as the sheerest vision preferred.

So we have these vibrant dancing ladies:
The naked heavyweight top, charming up,
Down, the strange beauty of the raw truth,
And a bare bottom just around and behind.

They gyrate, spinning their charms, twirling
In the universal dance of stunning motion,
The polarity sometimes reversed,
Whirling, their bottoms up and tops down.

And then there are Eden’s many colors,
In this flower garden filled with flavors,
Such as red bottom beauties, blue tops,
And magenta undulations unstopped.

Gluons are the bees of the flower beds,
Carrying pollen back and forth to bond
The many relationships that make
This loved world go ‘round as reality.

Eyed in views that probe the fundamental,
Quarks strangely swirl in and out of sight,
Pulsing, throbbing with elemental delight,
Back and forth—the love-made life of eternity.

These attractions in the altogether denuded
In the buff became the strong force manifest
That these mother-nature-naked terms exposed
To denote the stark beauty of truth uncovered.
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Braininvat on March 18th, 2016, 11:57 am 

You know Spring is near when men start to become sexually aroused by subatomic particles.
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby DragonFly on March 18th, 2016, 12:36 pm 

Braininvat » March 18th, 2016, 10:57 am wrote:You know Spring is near when men start to become sexually aroused by subatomic particles.


This is the season when men's thoughts turn to mud.
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Lomax on March 18th, 2016, 12:36 pm 

Schrodinger walks into a bar and doesn't.

Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding. The cop asks: "do you know how fast you were going?" "No," Heisenberg replies, "but I know exactly where I am."
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Braininvat on March 18th, 2016, 2:41 pm 

What power tools do you get when you combine an electron shell and the most Socialist candidate in the U.S. Democratic primary?

orbital sanders
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Cosmic Skeptic on March 18th, 2016, 4:59 pm 

Braininvat » March 18th, 2016, 2:41 pm wrote:What power tools do you get when you combine an electron shell and the most Socialist candidate in the U.S. Democratic primary?

orbital sanders

What do you get if you run the sander too fast? BURNIE Sanders!
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Cosmic Skeptic on March 18th, 2016, 6:59 pm 

Great poem DragonFly, I especially liked the line; 'the bare Bottom down and around etc' very picturesque and funny.
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Cosmic Skeptic on March 19th, 2016, 2:31 pm 

Addition to Orbital Sander joke: It occurs to me that if we put the two Demorcratic candidates on one ticke;
we get H C B S, Hot and Cold running BS....just what I would expect from politicians!
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby AZPaul3 on May 3rd, 2016, 9:30 pm 

A Higgs Boson walks into a bar and asks everyone to take part in an act of penitence. "What are you doing?" asks the barman. "Giving mass."

Two atoms walking down the street. “I lost an electron.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive.”

What happens to bad photons? The end up in prism.

Product label: At the subatomic level this product might be made of strings. Manufacturer will prosecute to the fullest extent of the law any attempt to make a supersymmetric version.

Elementary particle: The dreams that stuff is made of.
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Re: Subatomic Physics Jokes.

Postby Braininvat on May 4th, 2016, 9:48 am 

A photon checks into a hotel. "Any luggage?" asks the desk clerk.

"No," says the photon, " I'm traveling light."
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