My battle with hiccups

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My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 24th, 2017, 9:13 am 

Can *hic* anyone *hic* help?
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby Braininvat on June 24th, 2017, 9:52 am 

Write a 6000 word post on your experience with hiccups, demanding that people read it and provide feedback. That seems to be the recent trend here. And hold your breath while writing it, which will up your dissolved blood CO2 levels and acidity. Which stops hiccups. Then run around a tree 14 times, barking like a dog.

Last step is not essential, I'd just like to see you do it.

There is also standing under a falling piano. Stops hiccups cold, though some side effects may be observed.
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 24th, 2017, 9:55 am 

Well, wouldn't want to be a bore, eh, old chap?
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 24th, 2017, 9:58 am 

[quote="Braininvat » June 24th, 2017, 10:52 pm" And hold your breath while writing it, which will up your dissolved blood CO2 levels and acidity. [/quote]

Goddammit, stopped just in time. What kind of physician are you?

Hmm, the previously only suspected correlation between failure of the quote function and your own ineptitude is confirmed. Tee hee. It only works on weekdays.
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 24th, 2017, 10:21 am 

Braininvat » June 24th, 2017, 10:52 pm wrote:Write a 6000 word post on your experience with hiccups, demanding that people read it and provide feedback.


Yes, a mutual hiccup support group. The other 5998 words will have to wait till tomorrow. This is the best I've been able to come up with so far...

"Ladies and gentlemen, hiccups suck"

(The first three words don't count, due to intellectual integrity)
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 25th, 2017, 1:06 am 

Hmm, they're back. Gonna write a book called "Mein Hiccups", or in layman's terms, my struggle against Braininvat's advice.
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby Braininvat on June 25th, 2017, 1:20 am 

The piano method is easily resisted. Just stay out of Russia and the Sudetenland.
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 25th, 2017, 1:28 am 

LOL! Ruskie bastards wouldn't let me in. Rejected my visa application. Serious! They thought I was a spy. Must've been the Sean Connery T-shirt.

Went to Kazakhstan instead.

Ever been there on one of your abnormally highly paid SPCF vacations?
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 25th, 2017, 1:33 am 

You *hic* call *hic* this *hic* a battle? *hic

Meet me in Govan at midnight. All we need is a scare.
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby Dave_Oblad on June 25th, 2017, 9:05 am 

Hi NoShips,

I used to get Hiccups on occasion and was very frustrated when they started up.

But I found if I focused myself, took a few deep breaths, heavy on the exhale, and relaxed (kind of a meditative mindset), then I could rid myself immediately of the hiccups. This has worked for me for the past 40 years or more.

Not sure why it works or if it would work for anybody else.. but it almost feels like hiccups are a self-fulfilling side effect of frustration. When I release the frustration, the hiccups go away. Every time.

Best wishes,
Dave :^)
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 25th, 2017, 9:20 am 

Some say visualizing Dave Oblad in a skirt helps :-)
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 25th, 2017, 9:23 am 

[quote="Dave_Oblad » June 25th, 2017, 10:05 pm"

Not sure why it works or if it would work for anybody else.. but it almost feels like hiccups are a self-fulfilling side effect of frustration. When I release the frustration, the hiccups go away. Every time.
[/quote]

Hmm, I'll feel better if you can adduce evidence that George Clooney hiccups.

All my research suggests so far is a correlation between hiccups and butchering the quote function. It's all so easy on weekdays. LOL
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 25th, 2017, 9:32 am 

Hey Dave, I tried to send this in PM but um, their system is not drunk-friendly.. Hope you don't mind

Hey Dave, I just want to say, you're a super-nice fellow and I admire you very much. I've read your posts about certain personal issues (bereavement etc). It must've been so very hard for you. I feel your pain (I know that sounds ridiculous but I look at your photo and sense your loss)

Certain things can't be hidden in cyberspace. You're one of God's better creations, Dave.

I hope you don't find this impertinent. It's hard to know what to say. Wish I was more like you; that's all.
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby Forest_Dump on June 25th, 2017, 9:56 am 

My father had once told me that the best method was to immerse your head under water three times and take it out twice. However, I did do some of my own learning on the topic and, although it is really some sloppy science hich I know you hate, I will impart.

In undergrad biology I had heard that the stomach has pyloric or wave-like contractions to churn the contents and push them towards the colon. Hiccups are basically when the direction of muscle contractions get reversed. Since the stomach is immediately below and to the right of the diaphram, thats what causes some of the results of a hiccup. Further I noted that most of the folk remedies, that work most or at least some of the time, involve breathing and thus pressure from the diaphram on the stomach might be key to reversing the reversed wave action of the stomach. I experimented by taking a slightly different approach. When I begin to get the hiccups I apply more direct pressure by pressing my fingers up under the rib cage immediately to the right of the xiphisternum, which is right below the sternum. Start gently - you don't want to tear anything but increase pressure as needed. I am fairly thin so don't have much padding to block the pressure of my fingers and so I find this technique works every time within a couple of seconds although once in a while I do have to carefully use my diaphram (breath control) to add pressure.

Hey I fully admit that my science and logic may have lots of holes in it including some wrong premises so if that offends you too much, maybe you should try "the immersing your head in a bucket of water three times and taking it out twice" thing. That too should work although I have never tried it.
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Re: My battle with hiccups

Postby NoShips on June 25th, 2017, 9:58 am 

All I need now is a tank of water and the Grand Inquisitor

At least we're making progress.
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