Why people fall in Love

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Why people fall in Love

Postby Biosapien on June 24th, 2017, 9:10 pm 

I am just trying to understand why people fall in love? and as time precedes why they are getting changed.What could be the reason for diminishing of magnetic field between couple who spend their life together for longer period.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby NoShips on June 24th, 2017, 9:22 pm 

It's all in the kiss, baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARZDfcVOwno

Erm, anyone wanna osculate?

(Google that, peasants. tee hee)
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby NoShips on June 24th, 2017, 9:36 pm 

My relationships never work out, Biosapien. How about you?

I assume there was a reason for your post?
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Serpent on June 24th, 2017, 10:00 pm 

Biosapien » June 24th, 2017, 8:10 pm wrote:I am just trying to understand why people fall in love?

If you're seriously interested, human mating behaviour is worth exploring from several angles.

and as time precedes why they are getting changed.What could be the reason for diminishing of magnetic field between couple who spend their life together for longer period.

I don't understand this part.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby NoShips on June 24th, 2017, 10:03 pm 

Serpent » June 25th, 2017, 11:00 am wrote:If you're seriously interested, human mating behaviour is worth exploring from several angles.


Tee hee. Got any spares? Call me Vasco da Gama
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Biosapien on June 24th, 2017, 10:13 pm 

I primarily think its because of the vision rather than kiss. Regarding relationship it never works for me either. In my case each time is just a spark and as time moves on, the bright light fades into darkness. The reason what i am trying to understand is why i keep on falling in love though its going to end up in breaking relationship, the answer is, its just because i don't like to stick with relationship which ties me up doing routine things through out my life rather than exploring the world out there.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Biosapien on June 24th, 2017, 10:23 pm 

"If you're seriously interested, human mating behaviour is worth exploring from several angles"

May be it true for animal kingdom but not for human life and I don't think mating has nothing to do with falling in love, because i seen lot of people have carnal pleasure without love. There is something that makes everything pleasant by her presence and over a period of time everything turns upside down .
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Biosapien on June 24th, 2017, 10:29 pm 

and as time precedes why they are getting changed.What could be the reason for diminishing of magnetic field between couple who spend their life together for longer period.

I don't understand this part.[/quote]

I used magnetic field as a term of attraction between couples.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Serpent on June 24th, 2017, 11:51 pm 

Biosapien » June 24th, 2017, 9:23 pm wrote: May be it true for animal kingdom but not for human life and I don't think mating has nothing to do with falling in love, because i seen lot of people have carnal pleasure without love.

Mating behaviour is a lot more than having sex. Mating doesn't actually mean intercourse: it means finding, attracting and winning a mate; pairing; becoming a couple - with or without the prospect of producing offspring. Different species go about in different ways; some meet only once, some stay together for a season; some mate for life. Humans, being quite complicated, have many variations on the mating ritual, as well as the duration of any pairing.
There is something that makes everything pleasant by her presence and over a period of time everything turns upside down .

You must be very young.
I used magnetic field as a term of attraction between couples.

Don't. It's a poor analogy; doesn't convey useful information. When the subject is difficult enough already, it's generally better to say what you mean as clearly as possible.
Anyway, yes - things do change.
Over time, the sexual attraction may diminish - but then, so does the sexual drive. As they mature, couples who are well suited build their union on many, many other factors. They have a growing investment in each other and the relationship; growing respect and interdependence, loyalty, understanding, trust - and shared jokes, that's important.
Discovering the person with whom you are well enough suited to spend decades is a very personal matter; everyone has to do it in their way, in their own time. Luck is a factor, but so is effort.
If you're not ready, you won't be looking in the right places or for the right signals.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Biosapien on June 25th, 2017, 12:39 am 

[quote]
Mating behaviour is a lot more than having sex. Mating doesn't actually mean intercourse: it means finding, attracting and winning a mate[quote]

Finding, attracting and winning a mate for what? i think below you mentioned the right answer

[quote]pairing; becoming a couple - with or without the prospect of producing offspring. [quote]


Animal do many things in order to copulate or mate. Like the term pollination or fertilization the term copulation or mating is specific rather than list of actions.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Serpent on June 25th, 2017, 2:39 am 

Biosapien » June 24th, 2017, 11:39 pm wrote:Animal do many things in order to copulate or mate. Like the term pollination or fertilization the term copulation or mating is specific rather than list of actions.

Okay. People do use the term for both. But the simple biological function is a bore to discuss. (So, the other alien says: "I see. But how do they keep from laughing long enough to finish it?") What's interesting is - What's a mate? Why do you want one? How do you find one? How do you know which is the right one for you? How do you get her/him attached to yourself and keep them there?

Finding, attracting and winning a mate for what?

For a much better chance of getting through life safely, successfully and happily. The world can be a difficult place. Life is a trapeze act. You need a reliable catcher.

Pssst. Two ways to make pretty quotes. Copy in between the quote marks that happen when you hit the Quote button on your menu bar at the top of this box, or type [quote] manually, but don't forget to put a backslash into the second, closing one [/
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Biosapien on June 27th, 2017, 12:02 am 

Pssst. Two ways to make pretty quotes. Copy in between the quote marks that happen when you hit the Quote button on your menu bar at the top of this box, or type
manually, but don't forget to put a backslash into the second, closing one [/
Machines are dumb; you have to tell them every little thing.


The final piece of information your provided is really helpfull. Thankyou and hope its work.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby NoShips on June 27th, 2017, 12:06 am 

Serpent » June 25th, 2017, 12:51 pm wrote:You must be very young.


Hmm, is that a nice way of saying, "Gosh, you're thick as a brick?"
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Serpent on June 27th, 2017, 12:19 am 

NoShips » June 26th, 2017, 11:06 pm wrote:
Serpent » June 25th, 2017, 12:51 pm wrote:You must be very young.


Hmm, is that a nice way of saying, "Gosh, you're thick as a brick?"

No, that's a simple way of saying "You must be very young."
The concerns that Biosapien expresses are the concerns of young people who have limited experience in forming and maintaining relationships.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Thelogo on July 25th, 2017, 2:19 pm 

Biosapien » June 24th, 2017, 8:10 pm wrote:I am just trying to understand why people fall in love?


There are two things people seem to be confusing with love. The first is comparing human with animals. Although there are many similarities, like caring, mating, etc, you don't see love. Saying animals love each other would be a mistake. The other thing is how long people stay together after falling in love. You could have people who don't love each other and yet they would stay together for other reasons like: tradition, responsibility, children, convenience and so on.
By falling in love I assume you mean those "magical" first few weeks when you are in the beginning of a relationship.
At this time people are getting to know something from another person which is unique to that individual and vice versa. This discovering of uniqueness which we feel so attractive to is what we call falling in love.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby mitchellmckain on July 25th, 2017, 3:20 pm 

Biosapien » June 24th, 2017, 9:13 pm wrote:I primarily think its because of the vision rather than kiss. Regarding relationship it never works for me either. In my case each time is just a spark and as time moves on, the bright light fades into darkness. The reason what i am trying to understand is why i keep on falling in love though its going to end up in breaking relationship, the answer is, its just because i don't like to stick with relationship which ties me up doing routine things through out my life rather than exploring the world out there.


I am reminded of a film with Barbara Streisand, "The Mirror has Two Faces," where she teaches a class and asks this very question, getting many answers. Finally she suggests the following answer, "While it lasts, it feels **** great."

I would like to suggest that you asking the wrong question. Life isn't just a matter of simply sitting back and being an objective observer where what you want doesn't matter like in science. It is all about subjective participation and what you want is central. Maybe the question you should be asking is not why you keep falling in love but why does it keep falling apart? Yeah, that is a much more unpleasant question, isn't it? Because when it keeps happening to you over and over again, then it is unlikely the responsibility for it lies entirely with everyone else, right?

So what causes them to fall apart? That's easy. Bad habits. Those are the killer in all human relationships. And I am not just talking about things that you do, but the things you think. Our habits of thought can be the most destructive things in our lives. Biggest of these? Expectations. I think this is the number one relationship killer. Does this mean you cannot have any expectations? No. But it does mean that you need to dig these out and take a good look at them, yours and theirs. Are they reasonable? Are they worth the price of having to look elsewhere if the current relationship doesn't have it?

I am reminded of something a friend told me once. He was the son of a Japanese diplomat and had to live in many different countries. He said that when you first go to a country, you love it. But as time goes on you start to hate it more and more. Then a long time after you leave, you start to love it again. In the first stage, you are discovering all the new and interesting things about this place. In the second stage, you are discovering all the things which are lacking compared to the other places you have lived. In the final stages, you miss those things you had there which you haven't found anywhere else.

I think something very similar is going one when it is love with a person instead of a place. It is still life, and your life with a different person is nearly as different as living in another country. And this just points to one of those facts of life that you just have to accept you cannot have everything you want. Whether with a person or a place, you have to rejoice in what you get and stop expecting what isn't offered.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby garryben on November 29th, 2017, 11:12 am 

People fall in love because they like to share their thoughts, thinking and emotion with others.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby Braininvat on November 29th, 2017, 5:50 pm 

Those seem like necessary, but not sufficient, criteria for being in love. You can share thoughts and feelings with friends, but not be in love with them. Perhaps read the thread, then dig a bit deeper?
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby mitchellmckain on November 30th, 2017, 12:22 am 

Perhaps, I should did a little deeper also. I cannot help thinking maybe what I said before went over too well. It is possible that the problem isn't expecting too much but rather not responding to consistent expectations from the opposite sex. And now we are into difficult territory -- what do they want? And I am afraid that this may not be as simple as asking them what they want, for several reasons. It is entirely possible that they do not even know what they want. I have had second-hand experience with this watching my father and the series of women he has had relationships with.

It is also possible that what they want is not something they can ask for, such as when they want something to come entirely from you and thus asking for it precludes the very thing they want. Sounds convoluted eh? And why does it sound like I don't even know the answer. Because I might not. Just because I am married doesn't mean I have overcome the same problem (the one with my wife is the only relationship I have ever had, so maybe she is the one who learned not to expect what wasn't offered). Well, the obvious answer is love, but I think this may be more of a category which includes all the expressions of love. And thus you may have to figure out what means love to the person in question, and at the very least you have to be interested in solving such a puzzle.
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Re: Why people fall in Love

Postby BadgerJelly on November 30th, 2017, 3:11 am 

If we're talking generally here, as in fall in love with nature, a human, a song etc.,. Then I have to say it is because we fall into ourselves, not into someone else.

We appreciate that we are capable of feeling something transcendental and often turn to the perceived external trigger that roused these emotions. The love is the realization that we are something we can discover, that the love we feel for something/someone is a call out from within to ourselves, in the "external" we see a part of ourselves as magnificent (magnified), or rather a magnificent potential which both attracts us to it and scares us away. It is a kind of "fear of truth", we want it but equally wish not to reveal the secret for fear of never knowing it again - hence the contrary nature of the human being and why we happen to start killing each other on occasion. We're forever at war with ourselves pretending we are the other.

So, we "fall in love" because we're lucky or find the strength to weather the storm of life, to face our bleaker and darker view of the world with obstinate resolve in the knowledge of some potentially better future. Its basically about "potential" methinks.
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