Re: Laughter IS the best medicine! (Jokes, Humor, Cartoons!)
by Watson on December 12th, 2017, 3:24 pm
In keeping with my recent conversion to festivisim, I find it necessary to rework some of the more traditional classics. I'm hoping T'was the Night before FESTIVUS will catch on? I was going to add a picture of my aluminum yard pole but it is to large. Both the pole and the file.
All through the house, twas the night before FESTIVUS.
Not a creature was stirring, just the cat and the rest of us.
The laundry was hung by the chimney with care.
On a line from the fire, attached to the stair.
The children were farmed out to the grand-parents beds
Where FESTIVUS fairies danced in their heads.
Mama with the ketchup and me with the fries,
We settled in by the fire while everything dries.
When out by the lawn pole, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang up from the fire to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a spark,
Tore open the window and peered through the dark.
When what to my curious eyes should appear?
My two griping neighbors, riding John Deere.
With both these fellows not moving to quick,
I thought shots of Wild Turkey might do the trick.
More rapid than beagles attacking their dinner,
They whistled and shouted and called out the sinner.
Stop Dashing, Stop Dancing, Stop prancing around,
Stop commenting, Stop kissing, Stop making a sound.
And quick as it started, all griping soon ended,
Last shots of vodka, with both elbows bended.
Two men in their PJ's, and both sporting plaid.
Grateful for FESTIVUS, least the one they just had.
Now laying a finger and finding his nose,
to their feet, very slowly, both of them rose.
From the tractor start line, they left with a beep.
Racing off in the darkness, to home and to sleep.
But I heard them exclaim as they drove out of sight,
FESTIVUS for the rest of us, to all others Good Night.